got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize