Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
