I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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