Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
