i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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