He uses pillows to masturbate.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
