I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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