Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Four minutes until I can fart!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
