I wanna bring you to show and tell
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
