You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
