im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
