So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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