he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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