Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You pole danced in your parka.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
