I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
