he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
