I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize