is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
