I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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