She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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