don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
