Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
