Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
