just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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