My Higher Power is John Stamos
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
