So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
