I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dignity is for republicans.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
