Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
