Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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