I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
