i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
