It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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