Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
