3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
