I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
