Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
