Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
