you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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