Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
