i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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