So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
