I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
is wine microwaveable?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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