i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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