so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
