SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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