A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
