Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
