You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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