i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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