better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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