The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
