hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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