Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
