I'm lost and stupid without you.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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