My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
