found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Randomize
