I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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