Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
