Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
