Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's shark week go big or go home
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
