I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
